“Get out of my room,” I said. “I’m busy.”
“Grow a sac, Farsh!” Nick was pissed, and surprisingly pleased. “I’m hungry. What do you have?”
“I don’t care if you’re hungry, I’m doing work and you need to leave.” Every night Nick comes into my room and bothers me while I’m busy.
Nick persisted, “C’mon dude. Hook a brother up. You know I’d do the same for you.” I in fact did not know he would do the same for me. On many occasions he didn’t do the same for me when I did.
“Nick, next time I come into your room while you’re busy and ask you for food, pencils, or any other insignificant shit item and you turn me down, I’ll be sure to beg and whine before you kick me out. In the mean time, get the fuck out so I can do my work.” I wanted Nick out of my room and I wanted him to know it.
“What are you doing, huh?” Nick asked. “What is so important that…”
I interrupted “If it were any of your business what I was doing I would have told you. Get out.”
“This may be your room,” Nick protested, “But you have been my friend for four years now, and I’m not asking for much more than a fucking orange or some gum.”
He wasn’t getting the point, and I was beginning to be at a loss of words in anger. “You aren’t asking for shit. If you were, I’d have given you some, but no. You came into my room looking for my food, and now you’re standing here demanding food and refusing to get out without it. Who the fuck made you my boss and what made you think I would be okay with it.”
“Fine, “ he muttered, “Can I have some food?”
It went on like this for ages. Nick never got a clue, and slowly I was going insane. My temper was put to the test, and i knew it was not going to be long until Nick would drop the last drop.
During my first block sleep in on a tuesday morning, i woke up to the sound of wood smashing against the floor. My feet, which were leaning against the wooden floor, were vibrating with every thud, and i could hear Nick singing from the hallway.
"Row, row, row your boat!" I got out of bed an hour before my alarm went off and stepped into the hallway.
"Shut the fuck up," I shouted down the hallway before I slammed the door and waited a minute facing the closed door. There was silence, and then i heard footsteps creep towards my door. My room was dark and the hallway lights were on, so i saw feet infront of my door through the crack. There was a quiet string of knocks, sounding like an incessant tapping. I swung the door open as fast as i could. Nick was standing infront of me, naked, with a large branch he was using as a kickdrum extended infront of him like a sword.
"Lets end this once and for all," he playfully challenged.
"Alright!" I entertained the both of us as i walked back to my desk and grabbed my five inch jackknife. I walked into my doorway and flipped the blade open, holding it dangerously close to his neck.
"Fuck with me again while i'm sleeping and i'll fucking stab you."
Nick nervously stared at my eyes for the longest second i can remember. I saw his bottom lip quivering, and he looked, for the first time i could remember in a long time, to have a genuine expression on his face. He tried to speak, but he was at a loss of words and could only move his lips. I shut the door faster than i had opened it and threw myself onto my bed. My heart was racing, but i felt good about it. I could feel adrenaline flowing in me.
"Shit dude," Nick muttered, "Chill out. I was just fucking around." I heard fear and sincerity through the otherwise apparent shock.
"Let me sleep, Nick," I barked, "and get away from my room."
"Sorry." Anyone could tell that Nick was, in fact, sorry. Unfortunately, he was also stupid. As he walked down the hall, i heard a quiet, muffled humming of the tune of "Row, Row, Row your boat." I leaped up from my bed and charged into the hallway, wielding my knife in one hand and the wooden doorstop in the other. Nick saw me and dropped his branch, sprinting faster than i had ever seen towards his room. I let go of my arsenal and picked up the stick, holding it like a spear and firing it at him. I missed by a few feet, but Nick was locked in his room well before he would have had the chance to see that. I marched to the branch, and like Nick had done earlier, paced around the hallway.
Using the stick as a kickdrum on Nick's door, I stood screaming "Row, Row, Row your boat!"